On the Move

Recap! of my always busy Wednesday.

6:40 am: Wake up, shower, breakfast
7:35 am: Leave for school
8:00 am: Pops
9:30 am: Anthro
10:30 am: Hang out in car since class got out early again
11:00 am: Archery; I do quite badly because my wrist hurts
12:45 pm: Go to my store to pick up the school tour papers
2:05 pm: Leave to meet with mentor teacher at the high school
2:45 pm: Go to Barnes & Noble to get books to donate and for extra credit
3:15 pm: Go to Grandmom's house to visit her and Uncle Rob and ask for textbook money
4:05 pm: Arrive home finally; talk to Mom and finish up an ed assignment
5:10 pm: Leave for class
5:25 pm: Run into Lisa and talk real quick
5:30 pm: Ed 10
8:30 pm: Home; look over tour stuff; dinner

I have been home about three hours total today, and the last thing I want to do is read those papers for the tour. I don't even like little kids.

Grrrr

Don't you just love it when other people blame their problems on you? They did something wrong, you caught them, and now they're pissed at you. This is why I love the show Parking Wars on A&E. The people of the PPA who are the main players in the show are just doing a job and making a living like everyone else in the world. Someone parks wrong or has outstanding tickets, but it's never their fault. The signs weren't clear or the computer is wrong. The best part is seriously when someone owns up and says, "You know, this sucks, but it's my fault, and I realize that. " I don't live in a city where this is too much of a problem, but I respect these people nonetheless. Just today I parked in a wrong spot while I ran inside the high school I will be doing fieldwork at. If I had gotten in trouble, I would have been mad, yes, but it was my fault.

Anyway, the people who get pissed make me laugh. What happened to personal responsibility in this country? If your kid kills himself, it was the bands the video games. If I get a ticket for running a light or parking in the wrong spot, the singnage wasn't clear. You are responsible for your actions and for looking after the people you care about, especially your children. Start owning up, you jerks.

End rant.

Side note: You know what's really good? Well, actually there's two things. This new creamer from International Delight called Marshmallow Mocha. Also, Cholula hot sauce. I bought it last night and am already a third of the way through the bottle. Random, I know.

I'm done.

How Odd

So...the world is full of coincidences. Last year around this time I was stocking some candy on one of the check stands, and an older lady asked if I was open. I said no, sorry. Then she looked at me and asked, "Christie?" And my response was to think if I should know her. It was Mrs. Brown! Jon, Jeanine, and I met her when we were 13 playing the Ouija board one day during spring break. She asked about Jon and how he was doing and was glad to know I was well. I cannot believe she remembered us for so long. When I saw Jon a few weeks, I told him, and he was surprised, too. She didn't ask about Jeanine, so I wonder why she only remembers us. I see her at the store a lot still. I sold her some lotto tickets tonight, and I saw her at Walmat on Tuesday when I was with my mom returning something. We met her eight years ago. Crazy.

Then a few weeks ago I find out my neighbor for six years and also a customer at the store is the mother-in-law of my history professor from last semester. She's lived here for about as long as we have. I saw her at Ralphs in December, and we were all ,"We were never here..." I was getting into my car, and she just said hi, thinking I was familiar. Then we realized where we knew each other from. I was going back to work from my lunch I think two weeks ago, and she walks into the street and stops me. That was when we found out we were neighbors. Another customer lives just down the street near the mailboxes. My brother bought goped parts from her EMT son. Small world.

The Good and the Bad

This is my list of what I think is a good mixed drink from what I have experimented with since I turned 21 last June. It is a small list, but I feel like posting it anyway.

Good
Raspberry Smirnoff + cranberry juice (store brand works just fine)
vodka + Max Velocity energy drink
UV Blue + pink lemonade
UV Blue + green Monster
Bacardi Gold + Coke
Bacardi O + Slice orange soda
Level vodka + orange juice
Bacardi Melon + cranberry juice
Newcastle (not a mixed drink, but it's the best beer I've had so far and my favorite)

Not Good
rum + egg nog (unless you make your own egg nog)

Reading this makes me think I've tried too much...but then I get over it.

Live

Music acts I have to see live someday:

Daft Punk
ATB (even if his skills are said to be hit and miss)
Shiny Toy Guns
Fischerspooner

Weirdness and a Little Bit of Hope

So yeah. My shift was almost over this afternoon, and the second to last customer I helped was the most interesting of the day by far. Basically we got into a little conversation about humans all having a common ancestor from Africa, and lava forming the paradise of Hawaii. Then we got into there being no such thing as race except the human race and the color of your skin only has to do with where your ancestors were from. He shook my hand and walked away with his newspaper. It was random but nice to meet someone talk about evolution and everyone all being equal. Taking that cultural anthropology class last spring I think made me a lot more open and tolerant. I didn't believe or even realize that no-race concept before.


I was also reading some reviews on Amazon about some boy band CDs and how they are junk. The same things are said about Hannah Montana and the High School Musical 2 soundtrack, but I listened to that for a while. I say screw the rest. If you like it, listen to it. Who cares. There is no such dividing line that distinguishes good music from bad. Somewhere in the world someone likes it, and as long as someone enjoys it, it's music.

Basically I don't care what you do, what you believe in, where you're from, and what you look like. Just don't bug me and hurt anyone else. Everyone should be happy, right?


I'm such an idealist...

Forgot what I was looking for

Do you have something that you really, really want? You're a hundred percent sure it is worth it and think about it when ever you get a chance? You ever have a really good week where that thing keeps you motivated? Then the next week it all goes south for not reason at all? You're making yourself be afraid and unsure for no reason, and it's killing not only your mood but that nice feeling you were having. It sucks, and you don't know why you keep killing that for yourself. You're tired of the status quo and are ready to move on towards that thing. The only thing holding you back is you. When nothing else should matter, you let that fear of the unknown muck everything around until you no longer are sure of what you want. And you want to run and break free and just do something to express this frustration or to move yourself closer to that goal, anything to feel better and get out of this shackled existence you've forced upon yourself. What makes it worse is that it is no one's doing but your own. And you're like goddammit. Everything sucks, but it's your fault. Things were so much better in high school, and that dream and calling were so much easier to embrace. It was a fanciful dream that I guess I am still reluctant to admit was false all along. I even think I figured out why it is hard for me to connect to little kids. It's because of my own childhood. Last week felt so much better. What is up with this week, man? It sucks.

That Feeling

You ever been in the middle of some enjoyable activity after a long day just relaxing and not thinking about anything else? And then suddenly you remember. You left something somewhere where someone can see it, and that someone was not supposed to see it. You freeze and sit there, knowing it's too late to do anything about it but hoping that you'll be safe. It's like you when you remember that you were supposed to do something really important but totally forgot, and there's not even a good excuse like you were too busy. You just forgot to leave a Post-It note.

Oh, damn.

Up & Coming

Music I am looking forward to being released:

Armin van Buuren's artist album "Imagine"
Andain's artist album (finally!!)
Luke Perry & Kopi Luwak - "Fall Into the Moon"
Bissen & Thomas Datt - "Take Your Time"
the new Shiny Toy Guns album

And that's all I can think of for now. I'll probably add more as they come to me.

I don't know what words I can say

Part of me wants to just run into an open field and yell in frustration at everything. But I'm at work and there are no fields anymore because they're building everywhere. To put it bluntly and simply: fuck. (2/2/08)

That was written last weekend on Saturday. I don't know why I was so frustrated, but I feel completely different now. All day I was in such a good mood. I have a goal. It feels so nice to have something in mind and not just repeat the same empty answer. I want to be a teacher. A high school biology/life science teacher. I'm planning on taking the CBEST in April and participating in the Copernicus Project in August. I want this. I want it more than anything I have ever wanted before, even some things I am none too proud to admit. I feel driven and don't want to lose this new resolve. When I first started Chaffey I started Education 10 but dropped it. I am now taking it again and am looking forward to the fieldwork instead of dreading it. I cannot even explain this feeling I have had now since November. I'm excited and ready tp stop screwing around. I have been floating endlessly around Chaffey, taking random classes to stay full time and keep my mom's benefits. My excuse was I love to learn, which I indeed do. However, I need to move on. I finally feel capable enough. I'm finally ready.

I wish everyone could feel this way because it is better than any drug I have tried.

untitled

You know when a song is really good? When it inspires an image and some emotion without any words. It just uses sound and melody to get something across. It doesn't need a name, either. It just needs to inspire. I wish I could find more songs like this.

Recap

My week so far in a recap solely for my benefit:

Monday- Wake up, get dressed, decide to skip class. Instead, I hang out all day on the computer until my mom and I go to the 99 Cent Store, Target, my grandma's, and the library. Then we try to figure out her dad's super cool old camera, but it needs a battery. I get dinner and try to go to bed early with no success.

Tuesday- I wake up at four-thirty after five hours of sleep. I get ready and leave for my polling place assignment. At first I am unsure about having volunteered, but quickly I get excited to be a part of everything. The day goes by quickly as we stay pretty busy, which I am glad for. A lot of people come out to vote. I arrive home a little after nine and watch the rest of House after talking to my mom . Despite wanting to stay awake, I conk out pretty fast.

Wednesday- I wake up for school at 6:30 and my brain and body both say no way. I sleep in until nine-thirty and just go to archery. I score a 26 baseline and then a 34. Afterwards I work with my friend in bio on our lab assignment. On the way home I stop at the mini mart and buy some Monsters and Diet Coke for my mom. Then I come home, write up my lab assignment, and go to my ed class, where I am overwhelmed by information. I also decide to take the CBEST in April. I come home, eat a frozen pizza, and go to bed around one.

Thursday- I wake up at eight and get ready for my appointment with the Gateways to Teaching fieldwork coordinator. After finally finding a parking spot, I rush up the campus, only to get there before she does as she is at a meeting. I don't wait long and am placed with a teacher at Rancho High. I drop of my pops assignment, finally buy the book, and come home. After recharging with a Monster, I head out the library to get a CBEST book, only to find them all checked out. I go to Barnes & Noble and buy one instead. I also get my bowling shirt, some new socks, and some gas. Fianlly I come home and start planning for important dates. Then I go to work early to work as 09, then lobby until 8, take a half hour meal, and come back to finish with 09.

Now I am home listening to some new tunes and looking back at how busy I have been lately. It feels good, and for the first time, I feel like I have direction and a goal. Life is good.