There’s a darkness upon me that’s flooded in light
In the fine print they tell me what’s wrong and what’s right
And it comes in black and it comes in white
And I’m frightened by those that don’t see it
When nothing is owed or deserved or expected
And your life doesn’t change by the man that’s elected
If you’re loved by someone, you’re never rejected
Decide what to be and go be it
There was a dream and one day I could see it
Like a bird in a cage I broke in and demanded that somebody free it
And there was a kid with a head full of doubt
So I’ll scream til I die and the last of those bad thoughts are finally out
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Summaries (spoiler alert)
Summaries: GSD and LIH
GSD: Ash, Misty, and Tracey return from the Orange Islands after Ash has won the league, GS Ball in hand. Gary shows up and challenges Ash but leaves just as suddenly due to a mysterious call. Right after delivering it to Prof. Oak, Team Rocket steals it. Almost as quickly does the gang get it back, and they also find out Mew is inside. They finally deliver it to be studied, and Tracey gets to help. Ash and Misty walk around for a little bit, and a new girl, Liz, shows up. She asks for Ash to go out with her, which he consents to. While on said date, she uses mysterious powers to get Ash to kiss her, which angers Misty. When the truth comes to light, she is actually a girl whose father spoke out against Giovanni cloning Mew. Why does she want Ash? Giovanni is his father. When he fails to fall for her, even under a spell, she becomes bent on hurting him and his friends. The final confrontation leads to Ash going missing, presumed dead. Misty and Tracey end up in the hospital, and it ends on them finding out Ash is gone.
GSDII: The basic gist is that Tracey and Misty find out Ash has been kidnapped and brainwashed by Team Rocket and Giovanni five years after his disappearance. His new life consists of pulling off missions with his team, including girlfriend Elizabeth (Liz). They save him, and he destroys the gang once and for all (or so they think). Giovanni comes back and tries to get revenge on his son, but it ends with Ash winning the day again with the help of his friends though Giovanni escapes. It ends with Tracey meeting a girl and Ash and Misty going on a quasi-date. From the bushes someone watches them, plotting something for our hero Ash.
GSDIII: Ash and the gang start out again on a Pokemon quest as Ash needs to earn all of his badges again since his were lost during his five year absence. On the way, in Viridian Forest, Ash discovers a legend of another land. After some weird dreams and experiences, Ash, Misty, and Tracey end up in Hyrule as ten year olds. Zoe gets left behind in their world. They run into Link. The plans Neo and Giovanni set in motion start to unfold in a new saga.
LIH: This whole story is just a vision of Twinrova when they want to know what would happen if the new trio were to aid Link. Link does pull the Master Sword and go into the future, but when they all reawaken, they have been separated. Ganondorf tells Ash and James that Link killed their friends and pits everyone against each other. They eventually find out the truth and defeat Ganondorf together. The dream ends with them being sent back in time and Ash and Co. going home. Twinrova then knows they cannot allow the four to meet.
LIHII: Despite Twinrova’s attempts to keep them out of Hyrule, the villain working with Giovanni (later to be named Neo but not the one from the Matrix) manages to send them all to Hyrule. They meet Link as he is on the way to the Temple of Time. Along with Team Rocket, they all end up being trapped for seven years with Link in the Temple of Light. Though surprised to see the trainers, Sheik has no choice but to enlist their help. At first Ash is reluctant because he wants to get home and continue on his journey, but soon enough he comes to realize this, too, is important. They basically go through the plot of Ocarina of Time and defeat Ganondorf, allowing the Sages to seal him away. When Zelda tries to send them all back in time, she fails in creating two timelines, one where they can have those seven years back. Instead, everything resets, and Ganondorf is still free. Link and Zelda warn the current Sages, and they banish Ganonodorf with little trouble, similar to the backstory of Twilight Princess. Ash and the gang are supposedly sent home.
LIHIII: This is a weird and very violent dream that Link has during the time he is asleep in the Temple of Light.
AHS: Link goes to Termina to look for Navi while Ash, Misty, and Tracey are captured and remain in stasis by Neo because he wants them for later. He ends up being trapped (thanks to an unknown force, later revealed to be Judas). While there, he stays on Romani Ranch with the sisters and falls in love with Romani while becoming good friends with Kafei, Anju, and Cremia. He basically gets his life back, but a traveler from the future along with Zelda and the mysterious Exzavier push to get him to go back to Hyrule. He does this, thinking that Exzavier is a threat. He is given memories of saving Termina, but fake ones take over after that of him going through other lands thanks to Zelda for her selfish desire to keep him form returning eventually to his new family and friends. He reunites with Malon, keeping his promise to return her horse.
LIHIV: Neo lets the Pokemon trainers out of stasis with fake memories, and they roam Hyrule again still lost. Link is then “killed” by Neo, which is just an illusion. Malon is so distraught because she has lost Link again after finally getting him back that she kills herself. Ash, Misty, Tracey, and Mondo go into the future, where Link is alive and where they meet Exzavier (he lets them face his father in hopes they will defeat him because he is still fighting against his dark side). They also meet Erika, Sabrina, Stormy Rain, and Zoe, Tracey's girlfriend from home. Ganondorf dies along with Sabrina from Pokemon, whom Exzavier fell in love with. He thus vows to kill them all and gives in to his dark side. They go back to the past and have a party, where Link finds Malon is dead. Neo appears and wants Ash to join him. When he refuses, he kills Misty.
LIHV: They all go on a mission to bring back Malon and Misty, and they end up having to save Ash as well. They meet Maximus from Gladiator, Stormy Rain, and Krystle. Team Rocket finally appears again, this time married for some reason. They manage to save everyone at the end, and the Pokemon people go home so Ash can finish his journey. However, they remember everything. Ash and Misty finally get together (for reals this time). Link moves into the ranch but keeps his treehouse.
GSD: Ash, Misty, and Tracey return from the Orange Islands after Ash has won the league, GS Ball in hand. Gary shows up and challenges Ash but leaves just as suddenly due to a mysterious call. Right after delivering it to Prof. Oak, Team Rocket steals it. Almost as quickly does the gang get it back, and they also find out Mew is inside. They finally deliver it to be studied, and Tracey gets to help. Ash and Misty walk around for a little bit, and a new girl, Liz, shows up. She asks for Ash to go out with her, which he consents to. While on said date, she uses mysterious powers to get Ash to kiss her, which angers Misty. When the truth comes to light, she is actually a girl whose father spoke out against Giovanni cloning Mew. Why does she want Ash? Giovanni is his father. When he fails to fall for her, even under a spell, she becomes bent on hurting him and his friends. The final confrontation leads to Ash going missing, presumed dead. Misty and Tracey end up in the hospital, and it ends on them finding out Ash is gone.
GSDII: The basic gist is that Tracey and Misty find out Ash has been kidnapped and brainwashed by Team Rocket and Giovanni five years after his disappearance. His new life consists of pulling off missions with his team, including girlfriend Elizabeth (Liz). They save him, and he destroys the gang once and for all (or so they think). Giovanni comes back and tries to get revenge on his son, but it ends with Ash winning the day again with the help of his friends though Giovanni escapes. It ends with Tracey meeting a girl and Ash and Misty going on a quasi-date. From the bushes someone watches them, plotting something for our hero Ash.
GSDIII: Ash and the gang start out again on a Pokemon quest as Ash needs to earn all of his badges again since his were lost during his five year absence. On the way, in Viridian Forest, Ash discovers a legend of another land. After some weird dreams and experiences, Ash, Misty, and Tracey end up in Hyrule as ten year olds. Zoe gets left behind in their world. They run into Link. The plans Neo and Giovanni set in motion start to unfold in a new saga.
LIH: This whole story is just a vision of Twinrova when they want to know what would happen if the new trio were to aid Link. Link does pull the Master Sword and go into the future, but when they all reawaken, they have been separated. Ganondorf tells Ash and James that Link killed their friends and pits everyone against each other. They eventually find out the truth and defeat Ganondorf together. The dream ends with them being sent back in time and Ash and Co. going home. Twinrova then knows they cannot allow the four to meet.
LIHII: Despite Twinrova’s attempts to keep them out of Hyrule, the villain working with Giovanni (later to be named Neo but not the one from the Matrix) manages to send them all to Hyrule. They meet Link as he is on the way to the Temple of Time. Along with Team Rocket, they all end up being trapped for seven years with Link in the Temple of Light. Though surprised to see the trainers, Sheik has no choice but to enlist their help. At first Ash is reluctant because he wants to get home and continue on his journey, but soon enough he comes to realize this, too, is important. They basically go through the plot of Ocarina of Time and defeat Ganondorf, allowing the Sages to seal him away. When Zelda tries to send them all back in time, she fails in creating two timelines, one where they can have those seven years back. Instead, everything resets, and Ganondorf is still free. Link and Zelda warn the current Sages, and they banish Ganonodorf with little trouble, similar to the backstory of Twilight Princess. Ash and the gang are supposedly sent home.
LIHIII: This is a weird and very violent dream that Link has during the time he is asleep in the Temple of Light.
AHS: Link goes to Termina to look for Navi while Ash, Misty, and Tracey are captured and remain in stasis by Neo because he wants them for later. He ends up being trapped (thanks to an unknown force, later revealed to be Judas). While there, he stays on Romani Ranch with the sisters and falls in love with Romani while becoming good friends with Kafei, Anju, and Cremia. He basically gets his life back, but a traveler from the future along with Zelda and the mysterious Exzavier push to get him to go back to Hyrule. He does this, thinking that Exzavier is a threat. He is given memories of saving Termina, but fake ones take over after that of him going through other lands thanks to Zelda for her selfish desire to keep him form returning eventually to his new family and friends. He reunites with Malon, keeping his promise to return her horse.
LIHIV: Neo lets the Pokemon trainers out of stasis with fake memories, and they roam Hyrule again still lost. Link is then “killed” by Neo, which is just an illusion. Malon is so distraught because she has lost Link again after finally getting him back that she kills herself. Ash, Misty, Tracey, and Mondo go into the future, where Link is alive and where they meet Exzavier (he lets them face his father in hopes they will defeat him because he is still fighting against his dark side). They also meet Erika, Sabrina, Stormy Rain, and Zoe, Tracey's girlfriend from home. Ganondorf dies along with Sabrina from Pokemon, whom Exzavier fell in love with. He thus vows to kill them all and gives in to his dark side. They go back to the past and have a party, where Link finds Malon is dead. Neo appears and wants Ash to join him. When he refuses, he kills Misty.
LIHV: They all go on a mission to bring back Malon and Misty, and they end up having to save Ash as well. They meet Maximus from Gladiator, Stormy Rain, and Krystle. Team Rocket finally appears again, this time married for some reason. They manage to save everyone at the end, and the Pokemon people go home so Ash can finish his journey. However, they remember everything. Ash and Misty finally get together (for reals this time). Link moves into the ranch but keeps his treehouse.
Monday, August 2, 2010
Strange Condition
At the end of Wind Waker, it is revealed that Ganon wanted power in order to help his people. He despised the Hylians for having a nice place to live and ways to lead good lives. His people lived in a desert with few ways to prosper hence their lives of crime. In the beginning Ganon was not even a bad guy himself, especially when he was a kid and then young man. Twinrova always saw in him a way to gain power. They say in-game that they are roughly 400 years old, which means they have seen at least three kings come and go. Each one presumably led the Gerudo people in the same ways of life they had always known, never really seeking out to expand their power or territory. From an early age, Ganon knew he was to become king eventually. He hated the way his people were forced to live but could do nothing about it quite yet. This is how he started off merely wanting to help his people. The sisters saw this desire for power within him and used it to their advantage to gain power themselves. They used him basically, which he never fully figured out. He also grew up with Nabooru, and the two eventually were close up until she betrayed him. He became convinced by Twinrova that the key to gaining the power he needed to help his people laid in obtaining the Triforce, something they had had their eyes on for some time.
Why was it so easy to convince him? Ganon helped the King of Hyrule during the civil war when he was still a teen and newly crowned king. At the end of the war, the Gerudos were still left to their home in the desert while Hyrule prospered. This angered the young man, who thought that helping the king might have gained his people better circumstances. This is when the sisters sweep in with their plan. If he can obtain the Triforce, then he will have all the power he needs to take over the world and put the king and all of the Hylians in their place as well as anyone who opposes him. He takes the bait. This new distorted view he has is still rooted in his desire to help his people. Between then and the beginning of Ocarina of Time this quest for power changes him into the man Nabooru comes to despise and plot against. Any connection the two have is broken when it becomes clear that he chooses his quest for power and Twinrova (whom she always hated) over her, and this leads to her plotting to take him and his followers down. He goes against the rules she, him, and others followed by taking from the weak. Eventually while brainwashed she will do the same. The sisters are alerted to her plans (they never liked her either, especially her influence on Ganon and thus watched her closely) and tell him. In outrage, he commands them to take her prisoner (scene after Link gets the Silver Gauntlets). It is their idea to brainwash her, and he agrees because of his anger.
Seven years go by while Link is asleep in the Temple of Light. During this time, Ganon is able to take over Hyrule and make it into ruins to symbolize the conditions his people have always endured. By this time, the power and his hatred have all but consumed his total being. The sisters want him to expand his empire, but he is reluctant, fine with ruling over the destroyed land of Hyrule. Still, they want more. They know of a legend quietly passed down that speaks of an even larger, bloodier war that took place between not just the races of Hyrule but different worlds. They know of a man who lives in a temple on an island, unable to leave for he is bound there. They know of the fabled Chosen Ones who will be destined to defeat that man and stop the coming of the Most Evil One. And they know that any child of the King of Evil would be able to keep those things from happening, allowing them to expand not just throughout the world where Hyrule is but to all of the other worlds as well. They come up with a new plan, one that involves finding the right female to have the King’s heir. Like their plans for domination, this is kept secret from him as well. While they hate to admit it, they know that the only one Ganon would even consider as a partner is his old friend and first love, the one they have under mind control carrying out raids that would make even the hardened Ganon double-take at. So they let her out of mind control sometimes and have the two of them spend time together in hopes of them somehow reconnecting. It takes a while for this to happen, and Ganon is fine with the arrangement, even though she is left in the dark about her actions and why her own people have this new kind of respect and fear around her.
Eventually the sisters get what they want when the two have a son, Exzavier., which is a surprise to all since only one male is to be born every 100 years. The reason, though unknown to everyone at the time, is because of her latent Sage powers. His new family softens Ganon if only a little bit, which the sisters do not like. Again they tell him that Nabooru is planning on rebelling against him (by this point he has ordered them not to place her under mind control any longer) and taking their son where he will never see them again. This is more outraging than the previous time because he had let himself soften up by giving her a second chance to be loyal to him and by forming an attachment to their child. This is the point at which the sisters turn her into the Iron Knuckle that Link later defeats. When Ganon is ultimately defeated by Link and the Sages, the sisters panic and send Exzavier 1000 years into the future where he will be safe. He grows up there with his father, who had escaped the imprisonment that happened in the reset past (kind of confusing). He despises his dad, not knowing the whole story about his parents. He also despises being taken away from his mother, which is a motive when he returns to the reset past. Unfortunately, this causes the timelines to split. His future and the future of the world he is visiting are now different. He stays in Gerudo Valley as the king to make things better for them the way his father originally wanted to.
During this time, Link is gone for seven years. Only he and Zelda have any memories about what happened in the future, and neither knows about Exzavier. The prince (Ganon is still recognized as the king, and Ex proves he is his son) wants to make sure that the dark future he comes from doesn’t happen. Sadly, Link is stuck in Termina. Even his power cannot reopen the portals, which were sealed by Judas to prevent Link from ever being able to meet the Chosen Ones as well as keep all of the beings who will fight in the war from coming to Hyrule. He ends up working with Zelda in secret, which even she does not like as she does not trust him. Link eventually returns to Hyrule. Exzavier even lets it slip about who his mother is. The Golden Goddesses can foresee that the adult Exazvier will be lost to his rage and power and eventually be destroyed. But they also see that if he were born again in this reset timeline, he would be an ally for good having been raised by his mother, who eventually leads the whole Gerudo tribe in place of its lost king. They allow the memories that were erased to be returned to her, and the two have a sort of weird reunion. When he returns to his future after Link comes home to Hyrule, she comes up with her plan on getting him back. This leads to a visit to Ganon in the void between realms, where he agrees because he sees their future son as a way for him to eventually escape. Also, part of him still cares for her, even after her betrayal. He is unaware of the future events that took place. Exzavier is born again shortly before the events of the Crossover begin.
Why was it so easy to convince him? Ganon helped the King of Hyrule during the civil war when he was still a teen and newly crowned king. At the end of the war, the Gerudos were still left to their home in the desert while Hyrule prospered. This angered the young man, who thought that helping the king might have gained his people better circumstances. This is when the sisters sweep in with their plan. If he can obtain the Triforce, then he will have all the power he needs to take over the world and put the king and all of the Hylians in their place as well as anyone who opposes him. He takes the bait. This new distorted view he has is still rooted in his desire to help his people. Between then and the beginning of Ocarina of Time this quest for power changes him into the man Nabooru comes to despise and plot against. Any connection the two have is broken when it becomes clear that he chooses his quest for power and Twinrova (whom she always hated) over her, and this leads to her plotting to take him and his followers down. He goes against the rules she, him, and others followed by taking from the weak. Eventually while brainwashed she will do the same. The sisters are alerted to her plans (they never liked her either, especially her influence on Ganon and thus watched her closely) and tell him. In outrage, he commands them to take her prisoner (scene after Link gets the Silver Gauntlets). It is their idea to brainwash her, and he agrees because of his anger.
Seven years go by while Link is asleep in the Temple of Light. During this time, Ganon is able to take over Hyrule and make it into ruins to symbolize the conditions his people have always endured. By this time, the power and his hatred have all but consumed his total being. The sisters want him to expand his empire, but he is reluctant, fine with ruling over the destroyed land of Hyrule. Still, they want more. They know of a legend quietly passed down that speaks of an even larger, bloodier war that took place between not just the races of Hyrule but different worlds. They know of a man who lives in a temple on an island, unable to leave for he is bound there. They know of the fabled Chosen Ones who will be destined to defeat that man and stop the coming of the Most Evil One. And they know that any child of the King of Evil would be able to keep those things from happening, allowing them to expand not just throughout the world where Hyrule is but to all of the other worlds as well. They come up with a new plan, one that involves finding the right female to have the King’s heir. Like their plans for domination, this is kept secret from him as well. While they hate to admit it, they know that the only one Ganon would even consider as a partner is his old friend and first love, the one they have under mind control carrying out raids that would make even the hardened Ganon double-take at. So they let her out of mind control sometimes and have the two of them spend time together in hopes of them somehow reconnecting. It takes a while for this to happen, and Ganon is fine with the arrangement, even though she is left in the dark about her actions and why her own people have this new kind of respect and fear around her.
Eventually the sisters get what they want when the two have a son, Exzavier., which is a surprise to all since only one male is to be born every 100 years. The reason, though unknown to everyone at the time, is because of her latent Sage powers. His new family softens Ganon if only a little bit, which the sisters do not like. Again they tell him that Nabooru is planning on rebelling against him (by this point he has ordered them not to place her under mind control any longer) and taking their son where he will never see them again. This is more outraging than the previous time because he had let himself soften up by giving her a second chance to be loyal to him and by forming an attachment to their child. This is the point at which the sisters turn her into the Iron Knuckle that Link later defeats. When Ganon is ultimately defeated by Link and the Sages, the sisters panic and send Exzavier 1000 years into the future where he will be safe. He grows up there with his father, who had escaped the imprisonment that happened in the reset past (kind of confusing). He despises his dad, not knowing the whole story about his parents. He also despises being taken away from his mother, which is a motive when he returns to the reset past. Unfortunately, this causes the timelines to split. His future and the future of the world he is visiting are now different. He stays in Gerudo Valley as the king to make things better for them the way his father originally wanted to.
During this time, Link is gone for seven years. Only he and Zelda have any memories about what happened in the future, and neither knows about Exzavier. The prince (Ganon is still recognized as the king, and Ex proves he is his son) wants to make sure that the dark future he comes from doesn’t happen. Sadly, Link is stuck in Termina. Even his power cannot reopen the portals, which were sealed by Judas to prevent Link from ever being able to meet the Chosen Ones as well as keep all of the beings who will fight in the war from coming to Hyrule. He ends up working with Zelda in secret, which even she does not like as she does not trust him. Link eventually returns to Hyrule. Exzavier even lets it slip about who his mother is. The Golden Goddesses can foresee that the adult Exazvier will be lost to his rage and power and eventually be destroyed. But they also see that if he were born again in this reset timeline, he would be an ally for good having been raised by his mother, who eventually leads the whole Gerudo tribe in place of its lost king. They allow the memories that were erased to be returned to her, and the two have a sort of weird reunion. When he returns to his future after Link comes home to Hyrule, she comes up with her plan on getting him back. This leads to a visit to Ganon in the void between realms, where he agrees because he sees their future son as a way for him to eventually escape. Also, part of him still cares for her, even after her betrayal. He is unaware of the future events that took place. Exzavier is born again shortly before the events of the Crossover begin.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Battle for the Future?
I think not.
iPhone 4, 3DS, or PSP?
Not much to say except that the iPhone will never be competition for true hand held systems no matter how great they design the phone for gaming. Many (like me) are turned off by the fact that you have to sign on with AT&T to use it. Plus after having a Droid for a short three months, I would stay away from the iPhone, even if it came to Verizon. The other two are designed for gaming and appeal to folks from the casual crowd (my mom wants one) to the hardcore gamer. Apple is getting a little too big for itself it seems, and there are plenty of iSheep (borrowed term, not mine) who will go out and get whatever shiny new thing Apple puts out no matter how pointless (iPad anyone?).
Besides, the 3DS isn't even out yet, and Sony is still going strong with its original PSP. I honestly cannot see developers ever completely jumping ship to hop on board with a phone no matter who makes it.
iPhone 4, 3DS, or PSP?
Not much to say except that the iPhone will never be competition for true hand held systems no matter how great they design the phone for gaming. Many (like me) are turned off by the fact that you have to sign on with AT&T to use it. Plus after having a Droid for a short three months, I would stay away from the iPhone, even if it came to Verizon. The other two are designed for gaming and appeal to folks from the casual crowd (my mom wants one) to the hardcore gamer. Apple is getting a little too big for itself it seems, and there are plenty of iSheep (borrowed term, not mine) who will go out and get whatever shiny new thing Apple puts out no matter how pointless (iPad anyone?).
Besides, the 3DS isn't even out yet, and Sony is still going strong with its original PSP. I honestly cannot see developers ever completely jumping ship to hop on board with a phone no matter who makes it.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Tribute to my Scooter
Back in the good old days, my mom used to travel a lot for her job and earned rewards (thus allowing us to take a vacation in New Mexico almost for free). One of the airlines gave her points, and she was able to pick from a catalog of stuff. My brother had received a scooter from my dad the year before (2001) when they were just starting to become popular. I always wanted to use it, but he was a stingy little brother. My mom then used her points to get him for Christmas a new blue Razor with a kick bar from Sharper Image (i.e. it had their logo on and that was it). He ended up getting a goped, which was a motorized scooter. He traded a part for it for my ownership of his new scooter. The blue Razor became mine after that. I used it extensively when I was 15 through 17 (to get to Jon's house and to get to Wyatt's so we could walk to school together). It got so beat up and scratched from me.
Flash forward to when I am 24 and going to UCR. I noticed many people using scooters and bikes to get around our sprawling campus so I decided to use my Razor in the summer to get from the engineering building to my anthro class since the passing period was only 10 minutes (talking about a half mile walk here and the still slightly sprained knee along with the desire to not rush). Then I realized just how well this thing had served me. It saw me through high school and watched as I gave it up for my car. It was left in the garage alone to sit there, waiting for the day I would once again pick it up. I used my bike on more occasions that I used it. That is, until university.
Sure, the foam handlegrips are falling off, and the plastic end caps for the handles are also falling out, tethered only by the old elastic bands. It has more scratches than I can account for, but it is still mine. I find it funny how, as a teenager, it brought me closer to my best friends of the time. Now it brings me closer to my goals (and yes, makes less sweaty and hurried walking between classes). I never took the time to appreciate it so this blog is kind of dedicated to that fact.
Viva la scooter.
Flash forward to when I am 24 and going to UCR. I noticed many people using scooters and bikes to get around our sprawling campus so I decided to use my Razor in the summer to get from the engineering building to my anthro class since the passing period was only 10 minutes (talking about a half mile walk here and the still slightly sprained knee along with the desire to not rush). Then I realized just how well this thing had served me. It saw me through high school and watched as I gave it up for my car. It was left in the garage alone to sit there, waiting for the day I would once again pick it up. I used my bike on more occasions that I used it. That is, until university.
Sure, the foam handlegrips are falling off, and the plastic end caps for the handles are also falling out, tethered only by the old elastic bands. It has more scratches than I can account for, but it is still mine. I find it funny how, as a teenager, it brought me closer to my best friends of the time. Now it brings me closer to my goals (and yes, makes less sweaty and hurried walking between classes). I never took the time to appreciate it so this blog is kind of dedicated to that fact.
Viva la scooter.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Destroy She Said
Smirnoff Black Cherry reminds me of when my dad died.
That seems strange, doesn't it? Why would cheap alcohol take me back to one of the worst times in my life? The answer is fairly simple. It is also sort of why listening to "Destroy She Said" by CIRC reminds me of then (still a good song that I do play when I feel like it).
The time was August 2006. My mom was called to Las Vegas for work and took my brother with her. I asked for the weekend off work and got Friday through the next Monday, an added bonus of one day. I was going to drive out there to meet them, but first I was going to take my dad to the store like my bro always did. That Thursday night I worked 6-11pm as a bagger. Before I left, I called and talked to him to confirm everything. He was really happy because I generally didn't spend much time with him. I went to work like always. That night I came home and drank the rest of my bro's vodka, not at all worried because he would buy me more the next day. He did almost anything I asked of him when I did ask. So I went to bed.
The next morning I got up and got ready and called him to see if he was ready to go. There was no answer, which was odd for him because he always answered the phone. I waited and called a few more times. This was when I knew something was wrong. I got into my car to go to his house, and "Destroy She Said" played on my radio on repeat until I got there. I was already expecting it, but he was dead.
That song and that vodka remind me of then the same way some weird Asian horror movie with Wyatt and Carri, Denny's with Jose, and the song "Jellyhead" do. I'm not sure that will ever go away, and when I listen to that music or drink some cherry Smirnoff, it takes me back to those days. I do have good memories like how he was so happy that I might get the chance to work in the lobby at my store. Two weeks later I was scheduled back there, too late to tell him about. I also was hanging out with Wyatt more, and there was a funny power outage at my store the week prior. It's weird to have nice memories mixed in with sad ones, but I know he could rather me hold onto the good things than the bad. He always laughed at stuff in between complaining, and I miss all of those things dearly.
It has now almost been fours whole years since he became a big mass of energy floating around the universe. I miss him every day, especially as I go on in life and get closer to my goals. I know he would be so proud of me going to UCR and doing well and having a plan in place. He would listen to me bitch about work and make me feel better. The day I graduate I know he will be there in spirit, but I selfishly wish he could be there in flesh, even though he was sick and suffering until his death. I would give almost anything to hug him and feel his Santa Clause beard tickle me again. Yeah, he might have smelled since he couldn't shower, but when I hugged him, that didn't matter. He was my daddy, the only one I would have. So those things that remind me of when he died also remind me of his life. And you know what? I smile inside because I know he would be doing the same thing.
That seems strange, doesn't it? Why would cheap alcohol take me back to one of the worst times in my life? The answer is fairly simple. It is also sort of why listening to "Destroy She Said" by CIRC reminds me of then (still a good song that I do play when I feel like it).
The time was August 2006. My mom was called to Las Vegas for work and took my brother with her. I asked for the weekend off work and got Friday through the next Monday, an added bonus of one day. I was going to drive out there to meet them, but first I was going to take my dad to the store like my bro always did. That Thursday night I worked 6-11pm as a bagger. Before I left, I called and talked to him to confirm everything. He was really happy because I generally didn't spend much time with him. I went to work like always. That night I came home and drank the rest of my bro's vodka, not at all worried because he would buy me more the next day. He did almost anything I asked of him when I did ask. So I went to bed.
The next morning I got up and got ready and called him to see if he was ready to go. There was no answer, which was odd for him because he always answered the phone. I waited and called a few more times. This was when I knew something was wrong. I got into my car to go to his house, and "Destroy She Said" played on my radio on repeat until I got there. I was already expecting it, but he was dead.
That song and that vodka remind me of then the same way some weird Asian horror movie with Wyatt and Carri, Denny's with Jose, and the song "Jellyhead" do. I'm not sure that will ever go away, and when I listen to that music or drink some cherry Smirnoff, it takes me back to those days. I do have good memories like how he was so happy that I might get the chance to work in the lobby at my store. Two weeks later I was scheduled back there, too late to tell him about. I also was hanging out with Wyatt more, and there was a funny power outage at my store the week prior. It's weird to have nice memories mixed in with sad ones, but I know he could rather me hold onto the good things than the bad. He always laughed at stuff in between complaining, and I miss all of those things dearly.
It has now almost been fours whole years since he became a big mass of energy floating around the universe. I miss him every day, especially as I go on in life and get closer to my goals. I know he would be so proud of me going to UCR and doing well and having a plan in place. He would listen to me bitch about work and make me feel better. The day I graduate I know he will be there in spirit, but I selfishly wish he could be there in flesh, even though he was sick and suffering until his death. I would give almost anything to hug him and feel his Santa Clause beard tickle me again. Yeah, he might have smelled since he couldn't shower, but when I hugged him, that didn't matter. He was my daddy, the only one I would have. So those things that remind me of when he died also remind me of his life. And you know what? I smile inside because I know he would be doing the same thing.
Sunday, June 6, 2010
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