In Which I Go On a Long-Winded Rant

(Bear with me. I'm kind of just going to go with my stream-of-consciousnsess so it'll probably wander.)

I don't blog much anymore because life has been keeping me fairly busy. Around the time I stopped posting semi-regularly, I got into graduate school and a teacher credential program. I was once again consumed with being a full-time student who was basically working for free, and that was seriously the hardest thing I ever had to do. Then I got my first teaching position, and THAT was the hardest thing I've ever had to do.

Now I sit here, one week into my summer break after an amazing year with some amazing people and kids, spending my time on BuzzFeed, YouTube, Tumblr, or writing in my Pokemon fanfiction. I eagerly await my camping trip in a month and know I will at some point have to start preparing for the next school year since we go back in early August.

But there is something else I feel I need to write. In my work, I've added a little bit of political backstory that is sort of a caricature of what is going on in our actual reality. Because what is going on is freaking ridiculous. We have as a frontrunner for president a man who has alienated nearly every group of people in this country aside from rich white people or the poor, uneducated ones who fear anything different than them. The world literally laughs at us. What is more frightening is the fact that, up until recently, he was standing a good chance of winning because Bernie-or-Bust assholes believe the lies spoonfed to them about "Shillary" (it's not even an imaginative insult, ffs). Some are coming over, even though he still hasn't ceded the race (get out already, old man). If anyone thinks for one second that Clinton is as bad as or worse than Trump, then you are mistaken. Voting for a third party in system such as ours (where, at the district level, we award votes in a winner-take-all fashion) is pointless. Sorry, Libertarians and Independents, but that's just how it is for now. If you waste your vote on a third party, refuse to vote, or write in Bernie Sanders, then you are ignorant and deserve what you get. Unfortunately, you assholes will take everyone else with you.

Brexit has shown us in quick fashion how dangerous this reactionary, "fuck the government and immigrants" nonsense is. It doesn't just affect them, either. Whether people like it or not, we live in a global society. The USA already tried isolationism once after the first World War. When Germany started conquering Europe and killing people, we shrugged and stayed out of it until it finally hit close enough to home. Sadly, war is what helped finish pulling us out of the Great Depression, which was brought on in part by the similar deregulatory practices of our current times. We don't call it the Great Recession to be cute. Speaking of WWII,  part of Hitler's successful rhetoric was to blame various groups (Jews, gays/lesbians, immigrants) for the country's woes. One of the best professors I had in university taught me the important lesson that everyone but my generation especially needs to be able to recognize those sentiments. When you dehumanize a group, you can blame them for everything and do anything to them. Due to the destabilizing of the Middle East (thanks, Bush and friends!), immigrants have been flooding into parts of Europe. Racism and bigotry was definitely a reason many voted to leave the EU. What do you think is coming out of the mouths of so many Republican politicians here at home? Ban Muslims. And people are literally throwing their fists into the air in agreement with this. Trump supporters scare me almost as much as the man himself becoming president.

While this didn't start off to be a political rant of that sort, but it does lead me into the point I was going to make. Those same talking heads warning us about the dangers of Islamic terrorism also want to make sure those same theoretical boogiemen can obtain weapons of mass destruction. I'm not meaning the ones Bush went to Iraq for (really it was just oil)- I mean the kind that really exist and can mow down a crowd in under a minute. Perhaps mass is a little extreme, but guns are a larger threat to this country than plutonium bombs and terrorists, and yet because they are enshrined in our constitution as a right, no one wants to do anything about it. (Although I applaud the Democrats for finally doing something in the House, even if the ruling party gave them the figurative finger, voted on something else, and adjourned for a two-week vacation.) When children were gunned down and nothing changed, I knew nothing ever would. Two terrorists even shot up a holiday party in my city, and all I did was shrug. I hate to admit it, but I shrugged over Orlando, too. It has just gotten so frustrating that these things happen on a regular basis and that all of the outrage and loss from people across the nation falls on ears deafened by the NRA.

Naturally, the pro-gun people (affectionately termed 'ammosexuals') came out right away, blaming terrorism because he was a Muslim. No, it wasn't his likely mental illness or the fact (now questionable, I guess?) that he was a closeted gay man who probably hated himself to a degree. (I blame his religious and intolerant father for this one.) This case I feel is a cross-section between the larger discussion on tolerance and acceptance of the LGBTQ+ community and more effective treatment of and education on mental illness. I don't believe he even knew what he was talking about when he pledged to ISIS. Sadly, the LGBTQ+ community is already marginalized by the politicians saying guns = good. They are also stoking fear of the Muslim community, again.

I even read this one comment on a BF article (a powerful video about growing up a Millenial under the shadow of mass shootings) that partially inspired me to rant tonight. She said the one thing these shooters have in common is that they have been on SSRIs and other drugs for various mental illnesses. I'm, like, duh? Unstable people do unpredictable things? I thought that was obvious? That's why they're on drugs, so they can function. Here's where it turned. She blamed the DRUGS for making them unstable and for messing with their mind. She proceeded to rant about Big Pharma and the chemicals in our food (a sad testament to the lack of science education in our country...everything is a chemical., anything can kill you in the right amounts, and poor people in the developing world don't have the privilege to reject non-organic, non-GMO food because they're too busy starving). As someone who has a brother living with bipolar disorder, I know firsthand what not treating that disease looks like. He hasn't been on his meds in months, and some days I really have some horrible thoughts about what should happen to him to get him out of my life. (Sidenote: I also likely have some form of anxiety disorder and should get it checked, but I am total hypocrite on this right now, I freely admit.) When used properly, these drugs save lives and let people function, have jobs, and even have families. If the Church of Scientology agrees with your opinion, that should be a red flag that you are WRONG.

I was watching a YT video where Piers Morgan was interviewing a pro-gun supporter on GM Britain. Somehow, the conversation devolved into comparing guns to Kinder Eggs. (We had something similar here called the Nestle Surprise, but they disappeared a while ago.) Those eggs are banned here because they pose a choking hazard to children. I thought, 'So if we can ban candy, why can't we have reasonable restriction on guns?' That's basically what Piers was trying to get at. The asshat actually said that choking is a common cause of death for children and avoided Piers' question totally. Then he brought out how many deaths a year from gun violence are suicides. This is sadly true. People who are at the darkest of dark places and want to end it all will find a way to do it. But guns make that much easier. There is also much less of chance to screw up. Guns are more permanent. Just yesterday a mom in Texas snapped for whatever reason and killed both her daughters. People started arguing in the comments about how she could have stabbed them to death so let's ban all knives!!!11! They also brought up that mass stabbing in China in 2014 (there were multiple stabbers, though, and it was not as deadly if divide the 33 deaths by the 4 men). Plus stabbing someone involves getting their blood on your body, feeling the metal pierce their flesh and fat and organs. It's more personal and thus harder. Pulling a trigger is way easier.

Last point: we regulate female reproductive organs more strictly than we do guns. Same goes for birth control, which leads to fewer abortions. I thought that was the goal but guess I am wrong? (I read the story of a couple whose child would not survive and had to go through hell thanks to the 20-week ban in Texas. So sad and so maddening.)

So...here I am, at the end of my thought train. I feel mentally tired after all of this, but it also feels good to get it out there in written form. Now, someone might ask me what am I going to do about any of these things? And the answer is I don't know. It feels like nothing can be done, which may sound like the so-called typical millenial apathy my generation is famous for. We rant all we want on Tumblr and Facebook but don't actually get stuff done (one reason why the Occupy Movement fell flat).

I want to be able to change the world. I want a place where people love who they love and we can click 'like' FB wedding announcements equally. I want a place where people aren't afraid of science so we can use it to grow food sustainably for more people, so we can understand, prevent, and cure disease. I want a place where everyone can worship their god/s and I don't have to hide my atheism from anyone. (I'm not militant, I promise. Those people are assholes.)

There is so much I want for this world, and I could go on and on for a while. What I want doesn't matter because it isn't a reality. But it can be. Right now, the best place I can be is teaching the next generation. If anyone is going to get things done, it's them. My generation screwed it up. Or maybe we're all just fed up with the huge debt of student loans and credit cards, a menial job even with a Bachelor's, the unobtainable goal of owning property, of the crushing reality that we'll have to work forever before we retire and that SS may not be there, that healthcare is still largely unaffordable. Worst of all, when we bring these concerns up, we're mocked by the generation that led us down this path. That is a rant for another time, though (maybe).

For the most immediate future, though, I'm going to write some more in my Pokemon fanfic, listen to my playlist, and get lost in a world I can control.

Peace.

The Big 3-0

Many people dread leaving their twenties behind and finally turning thirty. I personally never really cared. We all get older and hopefully wiser. Each year brings new experiences, and this past year has especially been enriching. I've made so many memories and finally found my place in the world. This birthday is the first in a long time where it felt like a birthday and where I enjoyed it. So I can remember what this day brought, I'll briefly recap.

My close teacher friend got me two Monsters and a mousse cake plus hooked me up with some movies to show my kids since they took their final early.

Being glomped by a student and having my (annoying) third period genuinely keep wishing me a happy day as they filed into the room to take their test.

Two of my honors kids writing and drawing me a message on the board during study hall (I had to Instagram it).

Being sung to by two of my teacher friends and the brother of one of them.

All the Facebook well wishes from people I connected with during the teaching program and from my school site, my family, and the people from my pastl.

My brother wishing me a happy birthday right when I got home AND then buying me cheesecake and a vanilla shake from Del Taco "instead of ice cream."

Calling and talking to my grandma, whose birthday is also today and hearing how happy she was to hear all about my day.

Hillary Clinton becoming the Democratic nominee for president (I had to add this).

Drumpf and the Drought in California

Resources

A teacher once told me to think of me as a resource, to invest in myself

And to do everything to make myself scarce

Sage advice, no?

Only I'm not the only one who has invested in me

That list is much too long

And yet, I think of it, every now and then...

My mom, for having, loving, and supporting me, even at my moodiest

My dad, for forgiving me plus the above

My grandma, for pushing me and always expecting more

My grandpa, for thinking about my future, my education and for trying to see into my mind

My teachers, for encouraging me, for making me want to learn

My professors, for making me think, explore, and question

My old supervisor, for knowing how much I like to and can help people

My state, for granting me so much aid I have two degrees and no student loan debt

My university, for accepting me into their fold

My friends, though we've parted, for helping me grow up and get through it

So when I'm disillusioned, when I think how much life sucks

I remember it isn't all about me

I have to do well, not just for my future

I must do well for them

None of them ever demanded anything back

But I owe them a return on their investment

Even still, they would rather me feel as if I owed myself

And for that, I will never stop owing them

No matter how much I invest in myself

4/27/2012

CGS

“Resources”

Things

Found this from my creative writing class senior year (2004).

Things to tell a younger me or for an older me to remember.


"11 December 2003

Period 5


Live life. Don’t hold anything back, and have faith in what you believe. Never back down against anyone else or give in your ideals for them. Keep an open mind regarding anything that may come into your life. Don’t discredit something simply because you don’t understand it. Treat others in the manner in which you wish to be treated, and don’t let people get to you. Their opinions and words don’t mean a thing. All that does matter is how you feel about yourself. Be courteous and generous, even if the favor is not well received. Keeping your values in a world where there are none is worth as much as a thousand thank-yous, but don’t stop giving them out yourself, either. Don’t hold anything back, even if you don’t like where you think it may lead you. In the end, the journey and destination will be worth any pain. Take risks. Caution is best exercised in moderation like anything else, and being too careful will seal you up by yourself. Never desire to be alone. Despite what many may advocate, to love and to be loved is a greater gift than anything material anyone could ever give you. Most importantly, always follow your heart no matter where it leads you. It knows you better than anyone else and will never steer you wrong."

How I Will Meet My Soulmate (According to Buzzfeed)

Totally reminds me of Pokeshipping.

 #SorryNotSorry

Mockingjay Parts 1 & 2

Here's where I think they will and should split Mockingjay into two movies. Because I just want to put it out there.

First of all, the director Francis Lawrence said in an interview that a big part of the first movie is getting Peeta back. Some think they should end the movie when he and Katniss are reunited and then he promptly tries to kill her. Fade to black. End Part One.

I don't think this is a good place because it is a cliffhanger of the same caliber as Catching Fire, and I really do not think they would do that twice in a row. It might be good for the ones who read the books because we know why he did that and that she is physically (but definitely not emotionally) okay. For a general audience, this would force them to wait a year to find out what happened, which they already had to do between CF and Part 1.

Some other folks out there have then said that they should end it at the Nut scene where they blow the place up, finally getting the last district on the rebel side. This could work because Part 2 would then be all about the Capital invasion, which is a solid plotline on its own. However, this is yet another part of the book where Katniss gets hurt: when that soldier she is speaking to and asking to join their side ends up shooting her. This would be yet another cliffhanger. Also, I checked on IMDB, and the actress Gwendoline Christie, who is playing Commander Lyme, is only listed in the credits for Part 2. In fact, all of the extras listed are from District 13 or 8. Not one is from 2, where the Nut scene takes place. So it seems unlikely it would end here just based on that.

So where do I think they will split? I think it will happen when she comes to her conclusion that Peeta is gone and never coming back to her the way he was. In the book, she tells them she can't be there anymore in 13 with him like that. They won't allow her into the Capital yet, so they let her go on the mission to 2 to try and bring the last district to the rebel's side. If it ends here, they have met that goal of getting Peeta back without it being a cliffy. Also, it will lead nicely into the last part as a true war movie with the goal to win the thing and get rid of the bad guys.

Yeah, I thought too much about this. Just my opinion although I do hope it ends there.